So, today was delicate.


So, instead of a poem, I will just tell you what a horrible day I had. You know those days when everything goes wrong? Screw that. Today my life kicked me in the nuts. And then again. Btw, life seems to be a women with high-heels. Did hurt a fucking lot.

When I woke up, I felt tired and exhausted. Really good beginning for an 18 hour day. Right? Wrong! So, to make it even better, I realized that I haven’t spoken with the girl I love for exactly two weeks. Good? Wrong. Baaaa!. To make it even worse, It was warm outside, what led me to not wearing a jacket. That’s okay. It was warm outside. Right? I come to this later-.-

So, I then went to university. I met some people I know who really doesn’t like me. They have good reasons to (not really, but pretending makes it easier), but they are good friends with another friend of mine. So I started this day with hanging out with a bunch of people who don’t like me. Great.

I had then chemistry. It was completely boring, because everything my prof told me, I already knew. To make it worse, I had someone sit next to me, who asked me the whole time stupid questions, and you know, I really can’t stand stupid people. I then had maths, and you know, I HATE math. I’m completely incapable when it comes to math. Well, not completely, but nearly. And to make it worse, the whole time I was either tired, thought of my ex girlfriend which I still love, or had to answer stupid questions. This were 4 hours well wasted time, in which I did not speak a single word with a person I like. Horrible.

After that, there was vegetarian day at the mensa. You know, I’m not a veggie, I’m more of a meat-peeps. But that was okay, I also eat vegetarian food. But I completely screwed up and got the wrong meal, which was not that delicious as I thought. Fuck it. Even better? I had only 20 bucks to load on my mensa-card (something like a bankcard, complicated) for a meal costing 2 bucks. Sucks big time, could have used that money better. So, after eating I spent two hours with a friend and some of her friends, which was actually okay. I got a bit out of me, fought my social anxiety and did talk a bit. Was quite cool.

So, right when I thought the day could only become better, it completely went down the drain. We have a botany tutorial, and since the university screwed up the whole “how many students can we put into a single room without killing them”-thing, there were too much students. Some did go voluntarily, some others were asked to go because they were not signed up for the course, but there were still too much people ( I still don’t get how the fuck they managed to do this, seriously, what the fuck?). From the second I heard my Teacher speak, I hated him. seriously, I never had heard anything sounding so stupid. Okay, that’s not his fault, but how he told the students to go was just fucked up. Went like this. “So, you’re out. Please go.” “yeah, I know you’re signed up here, but you have to go.” “I don’t mind if you don’t get home if you have to take another course, that’s being a student.” No lie, one of the peeps who must go can’t get home on weekends because he now has to take the course on friday.

So, there were still too much students for the course, so they had to lots(?) people out of the course. And now, yeah right, who had to leave? Right, me. So, going on friday is not a big issue. But I will be alone there, without any friends, and I have fucking SOCIAL ANXIETY-.- serioulsy, I tell you, I nearly cried. So, I left to go home, when I thought, “hey, you know what, make your self better, and get yourself something to drink”. Right? A bottle of whisky can solve any problem? Right? Right!. Yeah, one problem. Find a fucking bottle of Whisky. I went to the Station, but they were out of whisky. Okay, no biggie. But I missed my train for 2 fucking minutes because of this. Me 0, alcohol, 1.

So, i waited another half an hour to get my next train, got onto it, and in the second I sat down, I’ve been greeted by a friend of a friend. Did not know his name, had never spoken a word with him, and had to make the next 35 minutes (of course the train needed 10 minutes longer then usual) awkward conversation. I really fucking hate this. You know what’s even better? When I got out of the train, happy to be alone again so that I finally could listen to some music, my earphones were broken. No shit, they worked right before I entered the train, and now the left ear is dead. I swear, I was so close to explode. So, I changed the station so that I can get my bus, waited some time, and then a friend of mine got by. Actually, one of my best friends. Helped me a lot, especially since the bus I was supposed to take did not come. Yeah, right, he was broken. I nearly cried.

But then I thought, hey, so, when I’m in town, I can get myself a bottle of Jack Daniels and be happy this evening. Yeah sure, what the fuck. Went to the next store. They had everything. Except… Yeah right, a bottle of Jack Daniels. I swear, this day is so completely fucked up. But wait. It gets even BETTER! Or should I say worse?.

I went to the place were I used to work, thinking, hey it’s Wednesday, my ex won’t be there. Of course she was there. Her sister who was also there, hugged me real long and told me that she misses me. Me and my ex just ignored us. Not because of being mad at all. Was just strange. To see this person you have loved for a year, who slept in your bed, and now you’re not even talking anymore. Strange. You know, does get better.

I went to take the next bus, said goodbye to my friend. Because of the last bus not coming, this was just full. Completely full. Fuck it, I got on it anyways, a bit uncomfortable, but I did not expect anything from this day. Got out two stations earlier, because i wanted to start a last attempt to get me some whisky (Yeah, this is strange, normally I don’t even drink, but as I said, fucked up day) and hallelujah, the third store I hit had some. Thanks God. I went back to the station, checked when the next bus was supposed to came, and waited. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. Guess who did not come? Right, the bus. So, I was completely pissed and waited 45 minutes in freezing temperatures for this fucking bus. Which came to late. which made me miss the next bus. Had to wait another 20 minutes. And right when I left the last bus, when I was finally on my way home… It started to snow. I swear. This was the worst day for a long time. Right when I thought that my life becomes better, it kicked me in the nuts. Face it, my life hates me.

So, I’m now at home, drinking my whisky, and HOPE that this day won’t get any worse, even though I don’t know how this should even be possible. Wish me luck.

Edit: So yeah, it get’s in fact worse. My ex wrote me, apologizing that she did not say hello today. I don’t know why, but this just completely fucked me up. I’m now sitting here, drunken and crying (Btw, killed the “L” key on my keypad, must look after that tomorrow) and have no clue what I should tell her. There is actually nothing i can say to this, but i don’t want to not answer her, because that’d be just wrong. I do want to talk to her, but I just don’t know what to say. That’s going to kill the night. I hate something like this. Really. So, after two weeks of waiting that we talk again, we do, and I don’t know what to say. Man, I hope it’s because I’m drunk. That’s just.. I don’t even know what to say. I’m fucking speechless right now.

Btw, they say alcohol doesn’t solve your problems. I can second that. Drunk a lotand still have more problems i can handle. But at least I don’t worry about it that much. Strange thing.

Sebastian

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About Sebastian

I am.
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One Response to So, today was delicate.

  1. Try says:

    A really fucked up day. I hope for you that it will get better from now on. :/

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