If I don’t Love, I don’t need to Live.


What is the difference between 20 centimeters and 40 Million Miles?

There is no.

You could be right next to me. You are. There is no difference at all.

You might as well could be those 40 million miles away.

Physical distance means nothing.

It’s the emotional distance that keeps us apart.

Things, words, thoughts. They all separate us. And they exist, if we’re centimeters, miles or even light years apart.

I wish I could reach over and touch you. But I can’t.

Because you’re to far away.

Even though you’re sitting right next to me, you’re to far away to reach you.

It nearly makes me cry.

I can see you, I can look into your eyes. I can talk to you. I can smell you. I could maybe even feel you.

But you’d still be far away. You’re still no part of my life.

I told you I’d forget you. I said you hello. We can try to talk. But it will not work.

I told you I’d forget you. But that’s not the plan. Not my plan. That can’t be my plan.

I told you I’d forget you. This was the first time I lied to you. I will not.

I will try it for you.

I won’t succeed. I know that. Right now.

What is the difference? I could say I won’t try it. But that is not what I want. I want to forget you. And then I want to get to know you once again.

I want to start over again.

But how could I forget you?

There is no one else but you. I can talk to them, but I don’t feel a thing. I’m not attracted to anyone.

This is a problem.

But it is a problem I don’t fear. I will love again.

I’m sure of that. If not, I’m going to die. But that doesn’t matter anyway.

Because if I don’t love, I don’t need to live.

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About Sebastian

I am.
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